It’s a funny thing to admit this but I think my miscarriage has had a far bigger effect on me than just the obvious one of grieving for a lost baby. It’s brought about a contentment that I didn’t have before. I was always wishing my life away; I wanted the acreage with the goats and chooks and to be off the grid but also wanted a bigger house. I had reached a point where I wanted to run away, change the World, change myself but didn’t have the means or the guts to actually look at what the real issue was. Despite making all the right noises about living more simply I hadn’t actually done this. All I had done was swap one form of business with another. Does any of this make sense?
I am now getting to a place where I feel that it doesn’t matter if I live in suburbia, I will be at peace with what I have got.
I also have to point out another big change for me that is causing waves around Wits End; I am speaking out, less prepared to tolerate bullshit and putting myself first. It’s not that I am becoming hugely selfish to the detriment of everyone else but rather I am no longer prepared to stifle my own voice. Motherhood and being a wife is not all about self sacrifice, the roar may be gentle but it will be heard!