It’s a funny thing to admit this but I think my miscarriage has had a far bigger effect on me than just the obvious one of grieving for a lost baby. It’s brought about a contentment that I didn’t have before. I was always wishing my life away; I wanted the acreage with the goats and chooks and to be off the grid but also wanted a bigger house. I had reached a point where I wanted to run away, change the World, change myself but didn’t have the means or the guts to actually look at what the real issue was. Despite making all the right noises about living more simply I hadn’t actually done this. All I had done was swap one form of business with another. Does any of this make sense?
I am now getting to a place where I feel that it doesn’t matter if I live in suburbia, I will be at peace with what I have got.
I also have to point out another big change for me that is causing waves around Wits End; I am speaking out, less prepared to tolerate bullshit and putting myself first. It’s not that I am becoming hugely selfish to the detriment of everyone else but rather I am no longer prepared to stifle my own voice. Motherhood and being a wife is not all about self sacrifice, the roar may be gentle but it will be heard!
Blessed be
5 comments:
12 Responses to “Deeper changes within myself”
1.Clarinda Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am e
what a lovely post x
2.simply.belinda Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 12:35 pm e
Congratulations,
Yeah, it makes sense and I think all of us do it in the early stages to a certain extent. Taking full responsibility for the welfare of ourselves and our family in real terms often requires a pretty hefty crisis somewhere before we can find the path.
Good Luck, on the hard days try to remember that speaking out and taking care of your needs is always the best thing you can do for your family.
Kind Regards
Belinda
3.Sage Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 9:30 pm e
It is at the darkest times you find your strengths hidden underneath the weaknesses… may your future be blessed with warmth and joy {{hugs}}
4.molly Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 4:52 am e
WTG woman! I can’t stand cliches but its oft true, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger:) Hugz
5.Julie Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 9:20 am e
Yes, it’s sad that it often takes something so sad to bring us clarity but it’s nice to know that something positive can come from sad events.
6.Eilleen Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 9:08 pm e
you are and have always been amazing lara
7.Nathalie Says:
August 15th, 2009 at 7:20 pm e
I thought I caught a little of that when I saw you…trust in your ability to be just. You know what’s fair and what’s not and that you won’t be going further than you need to..but just as far as you do.
Kali’s blessings be yours.
8.Cat Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 11:01 pm e
~claps really loudly, particularly at last paragraph~
YAY!!!
Now, if you can go off at a motorised senile geriatric demon, I will be happy : D
~chuckle~
we need a thursday lunch do-over ?
9.dixiebelle Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 9:33 am e
10.naturewitch Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 8:43 pm e
Congrats, Dear One, on this stage of your journey. Love and light xo
11.Deanmaree Says:
August 24th, 2009 at 7:30 pm e
‘Motherhood and being a wife is not all about self sacrifice, the roar may be gentle but it will be heard!’
That is one the most powerful single sentence I have ever read. You sound like an amazing Mother, wife, friend and human being.
Blessings to you as well xx
Michelle Says:
August 31st, 2009 at 4:19 pm e
Lovely post! (from Claudine’s sis) x
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